


;^)

by lasagna_for_one



Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Cybersex, M/M, Roommates, rest in peace AIM, the internet - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 13:37:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12632130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lasagna_for_one/pseuds/lasagna_for_one
Summary: Billy makes a fun and flirty friend on the internet.





	;^)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally for the new VBs kinkmeme here: https://ladyofdecember.livejournal.com/3205.html?thread=112773#t112773
> 
> I made some "strong choices" with character typing. I also may have had a bit too much fun...

Billy was not exactly a very popular member of the Rusty Venture Show forum (still, incredibly, hosted by Geocities.) He used to be a moderator, but quickly lost that position because he allegedly “made someone cry” (there was absolutely no way to tell if that was true via the internet, by the way) and in general alienated large swaths of the (he shuddered) fandom because they were, in fact, idiots who knew nothing about this show they claimed to love. Maybe he shouldn’t blame them too much, after all, not everyone could be a boy genius. Or even an adult genius. Nonetheless, No1RustyFan was not there to make friends. He was there to have stimulating conversations about conspiracy theories with the other weirdos on the forum, and occasionally dip into some of the “fluffier” subforums, which was usually where the fights started happening. 

Today, some idiot was arguing that the show’s opening was modeled after that of an Italian cartoon to which it bore little resemblance besides the most superficial aspects; this theory had been debunked many times. Billy had been arguing with some idiot for the past three hours.

He refreshed the page, and noticed he had a new PM. He clicked on his inbox. Who the hell was talktalktalk69?

“just so u kno” the PM read, “u r getting trolled rn”

Billy scowled. What the fuck was this typing? He visited this talktalktalk69 character’s profile. Member for seven years. Seven posts in total. The profile indicated male. His age and location were hidden. His profile was otherwise blank; his icon a picture of a young Peter Murphy with a little heart on it.

Billy returned to his inbox. “Hi talktalktalk69. I’d appreciate it if you typed like an adult when sending me messages. Thanks for letting me know I’m getting trolled, but you can mind your own business in the future. Thanks.”

He went back to return to his conversation, but by the time he had navigated back to the thread he was currently embroiled in, another PM had popped up in his inbox. Dammit. Talktalktalk again.

“u dont have 2 b a dick u kno. im tryin 2 help i tupe like this bc who cares u can understand me rite im 2 lazy 4 full words”

“Yeah, well, I don’t need your help.”

“k”

That was that for that day. But the first check-in the next morning found four more messages. 

“lissten im sry if i overstepped. u seem cool”

“i rly think ur theories abt the show r interesting. some r crazy but my roommate is rly into this stuff so i keep up w/em thru ur posts”  
“do u have a sn”  
“mines the same on aim u shud add me”

Billy thought about it for a second. He hadn’t used AIM since that time someone who may or may not have definitely been Sergeant Hatred tried to role-play some really fucked up, erotic Rusty Venture... thing. He had blocked that user, of course, so he felt safe logging in now. Hopefully this talktalktalk69 guy wouldn’t do that sort of thing. 

Billy logged in and added him. He was online.

Venture_Industries2020: Hey, it’s me from the forum. No1RustyFan.  
talktalktalk69: oh hey cool  
talktalktalk69: y do u call urself “no one”  
Venture_Industries2020: No, it’s like #1, but there was a character limit and I couldn’t use special characters like the pound sign.  
talktalktalk69: lmao oh i thot it was sum sorta odyssey ref lmao  
Venture_Industries2020: Hahaha! No. But I am a cyclops actually.  
talktalktalk69: :^o! thats p cool. is it lik in the middle of ur face or wat  
Venture_Industries2020: Um no, I just lost my eye.  
talktalktalk69: oh sry  
talktalktalk69: that sux  
Venture_Industries2020: Yeah.  
Venture_Industries2020: I have like no depth perception! It’s annoying because I’m a surgeon.  
talktalktalk69: woa awesome!  
Venture_Industries2020: How about you? What do you do?  
talktalktalk69: tbh my job is bs i just show up bc my boss is my friend lmao  
talktalktalk69: so its kinda a fake job and the job i had b4 was also kinda bs 2  
talktalktalk69: its ok tho i kinda work 4 the gov bc i babysit some1 fr em but im not suppose 2 talk abt it  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh, that’s pretty neat.  
talktalktalk69: lmao igss  
talktalktalk69: “neat”  
talktalktalk69: r u 80  
Venture_Industries2020: Hey come on.  
talktalktalk69: its cute tbh ;^)

Billy felt his heart skip a beat. Was it because it was kinda creepy? Or was it flattering? He couldn’t decide, but he felt himself blushing. He decided to change the subject.

Venture_Industies2020: You said your roommate is into Rusty Venture Show theories?  
talktalktalk69: lmao ya  
talktalktalk69: i think he must read ur stuff cuz hes def mentioned sum of the shit u talk abt b4  
talktalktalk69: i mean hes smart tho so mb he came 2 the same conclusions  
talktalktalk69: hes weird... u 2 wud probs get along tho  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha.  
Venture_Industries2020: You think I’m weird?  
talktalktalk69: mb ;^)  
talktalktalk69: but cool 2  
talktalktalk69: gimme a sex  
talktalktalk69: sec*  
talktalktalk69: lmao whoops  
talktalktalk69: brb garbage... chores lmao

Billy sat back. This guy was definitely hitting on him. Why was he so okay with it? White walked by and he tensed up.

“Hey fella, whatcha up to?” he asked.

Billy found himself blushing. “Nothing. Just... internet stuff.”

“Anything cool?” White asked.

Billy glanced around. “No. I mean, not really?”

“Do you know what Rose is making for dinner?”

“Can you please stop referring to my mom as ‘Rose’? It freaks me out,” Billy said. It was weird to hear White refer to his mom by her first name. “I really don’t know. I think beef stroganoff?” 

“What am I supposed to call her? ‘Your mom’? I live here, too, y’know. Whether or not you like it, she and I are becoming friends, pally,” White scoffed.

“I don’t know. Can you try ‘Mrs. Whalen’?”

“Like I’m ten or something? Come on,” he put his hands on his hips, and turned for the door. “I’ll try to figure something else out if it REALLY bothers you, alright?” He left the room.

About ten minutes later, talktalktalk69 returned.

talktalktalk69: back  
Venture_Industries2020: Hey!  
talktalktalk69: wats up  
Venture_Industries2020: Nothing really... my friend came into the room and I got kind of nervous because I think you might be flirting with me?  
talktalktalk69: mb i am ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh!  
talktalktalk69: is that ok  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha yeah I guess!  
talktalktalk69: if it bothers u lemme kno  
talktalktalk69: idk i find smth abt u p qt  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha, you don’t even know what I look like! It’s sort of flattering, though. You can, uh, keep doing it :)  
talktalktalk69: tru but i think its qt how sincere u r on the forums  
talktalktalk69: what do u look like btw ;^)

Billy hesitated. How could he explain his appearance in a way where this guy wouldn’t immediately lose interest? It wasn’t like he cared that he was a dwarf and had hydrocephalous, and, maybe it was just stereotypy at play, but he could see some random gay guy from the internet possibly losing interest in him. 

Wait, why again did he care if this guy thought he was attractive...? He did feel unfortunately excited that he was being flirted with, and by a man, for whatever reason. He thought his stupid gay feelings extended only to White and were probably merely the result of them living together forever and White being extremely handsome and having zero problems touching him or doing other weird, intimate shit with him. And the way he moaned when Billy gave him back rubs was incredibly erotic sounding. And that was probably why he had erotic dreams about fucking him.

You have to stop thinking about that, Quizboy, he told himself. Maybe he was gayer than he thought; maybe White was the gateway drug into a big world of wanting to touch other men’s genitals. Maybe he was bisexual after all? This whole “being excited by the affection of another man via the internet” business was kind of making him think it was possible.

Shit, that was a long pause.

talktalktalk69: u still there  
talktalktalk69: did i upset u  
Venture_Industries2020: Yeah sorry I was thinking about things  
Venture_Industries2020: I’m sort of short I guess.  
talktalktalk69: cute  
talktalktalk69: i like short guys  
Venture_Industries2020: I have like um  
Venture_Industries2020: Reddish hair  
Venture_Industries2020: Kind of a normal face?  
talktalktalk69: lmao normal face  
Venture_Industries2020: I don’t know what to say?  
Venture_Industries2020: You try and explain what you look like.  
talktalktalk69: uhh...  
talktalktalk69: well im tall  
talktalktalk69: pretty skinny  
talktalktalk69: pale and i dont like 2go outside lol  
talktalktalk69: ive been told im pretty handsome ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha okay.  
talktalktalk69: so uh do u do this kind of thing a lot  
talktalktalk69: ngl im not super social on the forum lol  
talktalktalk69: just lurk u kno  
talktalktalk69: i just joinged 2 understand the theories lol  
Venture_Industries2020: Actually, I’ve only talked to one other person on here from the forums, and something similar happened. Be careful, I might block you :)  
talktalktalk69: uh oh  
talktalktalk69: :^(  
talktalktalk69: wat happened there  
Venture_Industries2020: This guy tried to RP some thing were Scaramantula fucks Rusty Venture  
talktalktalk69: :^o  
talktalktalk69: ew  
talktalktalk69: wtf  
Venture_Industries2020: Yeah  
talktalktalk69: i promise u i wont do that lol  
Venture_Industries2020: The worst part is I’m pretty sure I know who it was in real life.  
talktalktalk69: wow  
talktalktalk69: gross  
Venture_Industry2020: He’s come onto me in real life, too.  
talktalktalk69: grosser  
talktalktalk69: oops crap i have a vg tournament i 4got about ttyl  
talktalktalk69: ;^) see ya around pal

Billy sighed as the icon went from available to away before he could respond. This was sort of, well, weird? 

The next day was a stressful one. Rusty was testing a “new”, “extra-safe” toddler gate, and of course, HE had to test it. Almost inevitably, Billy found himself getting electrocuted, and Rusty shaking his head and then adjusting his glasses and wondering if it could be maybe utilized in some military way and if they could get their hands on some bodies to throw at the gate with the voltage turned up and damn! if only the Monarch was around and had henchmen still because this would be a perfect opportunity to test it. Billy reminded Rusty made had to be some sort of evil murder machine and Rusty just scoffed and assured him that the government was the best customer in the world to have, and that was all they ever wanted.

By the time work was over, Billy was exhausted. 

“You wanna do anything tonight, pally?” White asked when they got home. 

Of course White was full of energy; he didn’t have to do shit all day. He just sat there and laughed along with Rusty as Billy got electrocuted. “Nah,” Billy said, “I’m probably just gonna hang out on the internet.”

“Alright, let me know if you change your mind. I’m gonna go play video games if you need me.” White crossed his arms. “And knock first if you’re coming in. I prefer to pause pre-whatever tirade you’re planning on going on in like, three hours.”

As soon as White was gone, he logged on. Moments later, talktalktalk69 came online.

talktalktalk69: sup  
Venture_Industries2020: Ugh.  
talktalktalk69: :^(  
talktalktalk69: wats wrong  
Venture_Industries2020: My boss is driving me insane.  
talktalktalk69: oh no :^(  
talktalktalk69: sry 2 hear  
talktalktalk69: wat did he do  
Venture_Industries2020: It's just the person he is. He has like, no concept of morality.  
Venture_Industries2020: He also makes me do everything because he's a talentless idiot so I end up having to do a bunch of illegal bullshit.  
talktalktalk69: :^o  
talktalktalk69: is there any1 u can report him 2  
Venture_Industries2020: No. He runs the whole show and he doesn't listen to anyone.  
talktalktalk69: u shud quit  
Venture_Industries2020: I wish!  
Venture_Industries2020: I live in New York City so I definitely can't afford to be unemployed.  
talktalktalk69: :^o  
talktalktalk69: i live in nyc 2  
talktalktalk69: small world lmao  
talktalktalk69: wud u ever wanna meet

Billy swallowed hard. Bending the truth about what you look like to a person who would never meet you was one thing, but bending the truth about your appearance and then going on a date with them, was, as far as he could tell, kind of a dick move.

Wait, would it be a date? Maybe he was getting ahead of himself here? 

Venture_Industries2020: Like as a date?  
talktalktalk69: if u want it 2 be ;^)

What a surprise.

Venture_Industries2020: Um, can I think about it?  
Venture_Industries2020: It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'm kind of anxious about the prospect of meeting someone from the internet.  
talktalktalk69: tru  
talktalktalk69: i cud b a serial killer  
talktalktalk69: then again  
talktalktalk69: so cud u  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha I guess you're right!  
Venture_Industries2020: I meant I was nervous about you know, you seeing me  
Venture_Industries2020: I just worry about maybe um  
Venture_Industries2020: Not living up to your expectations?  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: im flattered that u care abt wat i think  
Venture_Industries2020: Well, I think I might  
Venture_Industries2020: I might kind of like you?  
talktalktalk69: u need to work on ur self esteem pal  
talktalktalk69: and i “might kind of” like u 2 ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Maybe some day.

There was a level of fear and discomfort. He decided to change the subject. Maybe he could bring something else up and not talk about this weird gay shit.

Venture_Industries2020: So, were you a big fan of the show?  
talktalktalk69: lmao when i was a kid  
talktalktalk69: ive watched it recently bt i usaully space out a lil b  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh, I see.  
talktalktalk69: im friends w/a former boy adventurer n he is p fucked up from it  
talktalktalk69: so i dont rly like the show bc i keep thinkin abt him like  
talktalktalk69: cryin n stuff  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh.  
Venture_Industries2020: I'm sorry to hear that.  
talktalktalk69: its ok lmao hes an asshole tbh  
talktalktalk69: hes just sad lol ive seen him happy like 1 tgime in my life  
Venture_Industries2020: I guess you don’t post much.  
talktalktalk69: ya i joined so i cud understand my roommates insane rambling  
talktalktalk69: i mean he explains things 2 me which are interestin but then i have 2 remember them bc he just starts in all over again later n im like. hey pal wtf are u talkin abt lol and then he gets mad at me  
talktalktalk69: so i joined the forum so i cud go back n keep track of that stuff lol  
talktalktalk69: also sumtimes ppl post fsts  
talktalktalk69: free music!!!  
talktalktalk69: sum of the fanart is cool 2  
Venture_Industries2020: What, does he just talk at you about the show? Even though you don’t care?  
talktalktalk69: hes v passionate lol  
talktalktalk69: i like 2 listen 2 him when hes excited abt smth  
Venture_Industries2020: Do you have a thing for him or something?  
talktalktalk69: lmao r u jealous ;^)  
talktalktalk69: igss  
talktalktalk69: i mena its a weird situation idk where 2 start  
talktalktalk69: but neway hes straight  
talktalktalk69: soits a waste opf time  
talktalktalk69: i mean i think he is bc i kno he likes girls altho he did kiss me onxe  
Venture_Industries2020: That's a promising sign!  
talktalktalk69: he was v v v v v drunk lol  
talktalktalk69: he def does NOT remember  
talktalktalk69: or he regrets it n i do not need 2 bring it up like an idiot n remind him of stuff he wants 2 forget  
Venture_Industries2020: :(  
Venture_Industries2020: You don't seem like an idiot!  
Venture_Industries2020: Well, you type like an idiot.  
Venture_Industries2020: But whatever! You should tell him how you feel. I used to think I was totally straight and then it turned out I wasn't. Who knows what your roommate would say?  
talktalktalk69: nah  
talktalktalk69: im sure hed think i was fuckin w/him  
Venture_Industries2020: Why??  
talktalktalk69: bc i fuck w/him a lot lmao  
Venture_Industries2020: Maybe you should stop fucking with him so much?  
talktalktalk69: no way pal  
talktalktalk69: ill fig it out eventually  
talktalktalk69: plus im trying to get over it so  
talktalktalk69: it seems like im setting myself up 4 failure  
talktalktalk69: fallin for a guy i dont have a chance w/ on accident instead of like  
talktalktalk69: u kno  
talktalktalk69: actively seeking sum1 who might like me n not just like  
talktalktalk69: tolerate me or like  
talktalktalk69: use me 4 bjs  
talktalktalk69: bc thats been a fun part of my life 2  
talktalktalk69: not that i mind givin em ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha, is that so?  
Venture_Industries2020: But I get what you're saying.  
talktalktalk69: wat made u recently discover ur not str8 btw  
talktalktalk69: jw

“I slid into a weird pattern of suddenly noticing my hot roommate’s ass and recently have been regularly jacking it to him?” That was not probably a very good way to state things, actually. Tone it down.

Venture_Industries2020: Um, I don't know? I found myself attracted to this guy I know?  
Venture_Industries2020: It's not a very dramatic story.  
Venture_Industries2020: I've never tried like... actually having sex with a man though.  
Venture_Industries2020: It kind of freaks me out still. I get nervous about the... I don’t know... mechanics of it all?  
talktalktalk69: y  
talktalktalk69: r u a bottom or wat  
Venture_Industries2020: UH...  
Venture_Industries2020: Is that real?  
talktalktalk69: is wat real  
Venture_Industries2020: Like, people being.... bottoms only. I always thought everybody just switched around depending on the mood.  
talktalktalk69: lmao igss  
talktalktalk69: im p sure a bottom  
talktalktalk69: like strictly  
talktalktalk69: id bottom w/girls if i could lol im super lazy  
talktalktalk69: cuz tbh i do like girls 2  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha! That's ridiculous.  
talktalktalk69: anyway even if ur taking dick its not that scary u just gotta relax  
Venture_Industries2020: I think I'd prefer not to do that, I don't know. Not as a first time, anyway.  
Venture_Industries2020: Plus I don’t know if I could ever relax that much haha  
talktalktalk69: were well matched igss ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: I guess so!

“Whatcha doin’?” White asked.  
“I--” Why was he here? Suddenly? So suddenly? And why was Billy blushing so much? And why did this happen now. “Why are you here?” Billy asked, rather harshly.

“Wow, what is your problem? What, are you watching porn or something?” White crossed his arms and craned his neck to see the computer screen, which Billy was covering with his hands. He shook his head, disappointed. “You should use your imagination more, Billy. That stuff will rot your brain.”

“I am not watching porn, god, White!” Billy shouted. “You are disgusting!”

“If you must know, I was going to the bathroom, and I thought I’d check on you, so excuse me for caring. Christ.” He strode out of the room without another word.

talktalktalk69: do u like vg  
Venture_Industries2020: VG? What’s that?  
Venture_Industries2020: Is this a sex thing?  
talktalktalk69: lmao 1 track mind u got there  
talktalktalk69: video gaemas  
talktalktalk69: games* even  
Venture_Industries2020: I guess.  
Venture_Industries2020: And I do not have a one track mind, we were talking about sex like 3 seconds ago. We’ve talked about sex a lot.  
Venture_Industries2020: If anything, you’re the one who has a one track mind because you always bring it up!!!!!  
talktalktalk69: calm down lol  
talktalktalk69: besides  
talktalktalk69: u dont seem 2 mind  
talktalktalk69: discussin our various gay feelings  
Venture_Industries2020: No, you’re right, I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff.  
Venture_Industries2020: You just seem very, uh, horny? about everything?  
talktalktalk69: im constantly horny r u kiddin me  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: I’m just saying, it’s not the most productive mood.  
Venture_Industries2020: For figuring things out.  
talktalktalk69: who needs 2 be productive when u can just jack off lol  
Venture_Industries2020: Hmm. I don’t know how history’s great minds would feel about a statement like that. What if the ancient Egyptians had thought like that? No pyramids.  
talktalktalk69: ur rite wat a shame  
talktalktalk69: wat wud all those slaves have done  
talktalktalk69: o rite  
talktalktalk69: not hav 2 b slaves  
Venture_Industries2020: Don’t be ridiculous, they probably still would have had slaves, just made them do something else.  
talktalktalk69: not if they were constantly jacking off in protest  
Venture_Industries2020: I think you might have a flawed perspective on this situation.  
talktalktalk69: well never kno wat wud hav been  
Venture_Industries2020: Um... Yeah, sure.  
Venture_Industries2020: I’m really glad you don’t believe in that ancient aliens bullshit at the very least. I can’t stand that stupid shit.  
talktalktalk69: lmao ya ive watched that show  
talktalktalk69: hilarious  
talktalktalk69: kinda sad so many ppl believe it  
talktalktalk69: practical matters aside lik the fact that we kno how all this shit was done  
talktalktalk69: wat wud compell aliens 2 do this  
Venture_Industries2020: Right?  
Venture_Industries2020: Like... would you just go to some random guy’s house and build him a table for free?  
talktalktalk69: sum randos house on like the moon 2  
talktalktalk69: such a long drive  
talktalktalk69: i wudnt even do it if u paid me lmao  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha!  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: mb they shud combine forces w/hgtv  
talktalktalk69: alien house flippers  
talktalktalk69: tagline: these contractors are out of this world!  
Venture_Industries2020: LOL!  
talktalktalk69: ngl i wud watch that show  
Venture_Industries2020: To be honest, so would I.

Ripping on Ancient Aliens and liking HGTV? Maybe this guy was more than just some horny weirdo he could work through his sexual issues with. Maybe they could really be friends...? That sounded nice, cuddling up on the couch next to someone he liked and who really liked him, watching HGTV and riffing on whatever new Nostradamus documentary the “History” channel scraped together. If he was going to be honest with himself, that was basically his situation with White, minus the mutual romantic aspects. Probably best to not think about it that way... this guy was someone completely different and it would be wrong to think about him as a proxy for his unfortunate crush. Besides, there was more to getting along with a person than liking the same TV shows, he reminded himself. Always getting ahead of yourself, Quizboy.

Venture_Industries2020: I should probably get heading.  
Venture_Industries2020: My mom is probably wondering why I’m spending so much time in my room.  
talktalktalk69: lmao wat do u live w ur mom  
talktalktalk69: rnt u a surgeon?

Shit, shit, right-- he was supposed to be a hotshot doctor. Well, he was a hotshot doctor. Just not right at this moment, professionally. How to spin this?

Venture_Industries2020: No, no, she lives with me.  
Venture_Industries2020: I refuse to put her in a home.  
talktalktalk69: oic  
talktalktalk69: thats v sweet of u

Nice save, and he came out looking extremely compassionate. 

talktalktalk69: bt ya i shud probably get off the comp 2  
Venture_Industries2020: Talk to you tomorrow?  
talktalktalk69: ya!  
talktalktalk69: unless sum crazy shit happens on my end  
talktalktalk69: wich it sumtimes does  
talktalktalk69: but probably :^)  
Venture_Industries2020: :)  
Venture_Industries2020: I’ll look forward to it!  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: ttyl qt  
talktalktalk69: :^*

Billy signed off. What was he going to do now? It wasn’t like he could stop thinking about this guy. He paced around his bedroom, picking up books and setting them back down because he didn’t really feel like reading but he didn’t know what to do. He felt wired, oddly enough.

He proceeded downstairs to find White predictably stretched out across the entire couch, staring at the TV. Was he watching fucking Cheers?

“Hey,” Billy said, “scooch over.”

White made a face. “Are you still in a mood?”

“What ‘mood’? I wasn’t in a ‘mood’.”

“Fella, I’ve seen moods and that was definitely one of them. What’s been up with you lately? You’ve been acting weird. Spending a lot of time on the computer.” White finally moved his legs so Billy could hop up on the couch. “Are you depressed, Billy?”

“No-- Well, maybe, but-- I just-- I made k-kind of a friend,” Billy stuttered.

White cracked that crooked smile. “A friend of the girl variety, eh?”

“Shut up!” Billy’s voice cracked. Predictable. He wasn’t about to correct him; if White knew he was this flustered about a dude he would never hear the end of it.

“I see, I see, listen, I’ll knock before I come in next time.” White looked back at the TV and Billy followed his eyes. At least it was an episode in the Rebecca years. White turned back to Billy smiling a horrible little crooked smile. “Is she hot?”

“White! I don’t wanna talk about this,” Billy grimaced. Conversation on this subject was probably best kept at a minimum because he was a terrible liar and would inevitably reveal that he was talking to a guy. 

“She’s ugly, huh,” White shook his head. “Gotta work on that self-esteem, pally.”

“She’s not ugly, okay, she’s just...” He looked away, playing with his tie. “She hasn’t sent me a picture yet.”

“Oof,” White made a face, “rookie mistake.”

“Not everything is about looks, you know,” Billy crossed his arms. “Sometimes there’s just about feeling a connection. Maybe if you had ever been in love or cared about anyone but yourself, you’d know that.”

White smiled mirthlessly at him, eyebrow quirked. “Oh, so you’re in love now? With this faceless internet girl you probably know nothing about? Okay.”

“You’re taking my words out of context!” Billy shouted.

“Well, you’re being mean to me for no reason.”

“This conversation is over.”

White shrugged and turned back to the TV. “God, what is she wearing? Who gets that dressed up to go work in a bar?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“You know I only have the one pair of casual clothes.”

“White,” he sighed, “what you wear every day is not ‘casual’.”

“More casual than my formalwear.”

It was Billy’s turn to shrug.

“I’m stretching my legs back out, okay?”

Billy scowled. “Do you have to?”

“C’mon, fella, I’m gonna get a cramp.” White extended his legs again, across Billy’s lap. Billy stared down at the legs on top of him. It was a casual gesture, one done a thousand times before, but he still felt heat in his cheeks. He was getting over this, wasn’t he? How long was that going to take? He realized he had been staring at White’s legs for a decent amount of time and quickly fixed his eyes on the TV. Out of the corner of his eye he could see that White was looking at him and that made matters worse. He plopped his elbows onto White’s shins in a way he knew would be painful. White jumped slightly and hissed and turned his face back to the TV, scowling. The exchange was over.

He thought about talktalktalk69. It wasn’t like he was in love with him or anything, far from it-- but it was fun. Distracting. Nice. It was nice to feel calm and relaxed.

And it continued to be fun and distracting and nice. Nicer than he expected.

Venture_Industries2020: Hey, what's up?  
talktalktalk69: 2 pieces of news  
talktalktalk69: roommate got a gf :^(  
talktalktalk69: n i got banned from the forum lmao  
Venture_Industries2020: What!?  
Venture_Industries2020: Sorry about your roommate.  
talktalktalk69: its ok  
talktalktalk69: idt i had a chance  
talktalktalk69: now i can get over it!  
Venture_Industries2020: And... the forum banning?  
Venture_Industries2020: How did you get banned?  
talktalktalk69: lmao defending u  
Venture_Industries2020: WHAT?

talktalktalk69 sent a link, which Billy clicked. It led to one of his meticulously researched theory threads, which had been the subject of some controversy, particularly because there were warring factions who interpreted a face in the far back of the frame as one of two characters. The implications of the presence of either character were vastly different. Billy felt very strongly for a later, secondary screencap in the episode, which he took by adjusting the tracking to view what was outside the frame of the screen. The image, while grainy, clearly proved that it was absolutely one of the characters and not the other, a significant discovery, and merely the tip of the iceberg in terms of his theoretics.

Someone—someone who regularly got on Billy's case-- was calling Billy a liar and saying he doctored the image, and that his theory was crap and that he should just leave the forums already because no one wanted him there. talktalktalk69, who had never commented in this area of the site, dropped in.

talktalktalk69 posted:  
hey wtf r u talkin abt. no1s theories r gr8. y dont u shut up n fuck off

Major_Tom posted:  
The theories forum is no place for a 13 year old girl. GTFO.

talktalktalk69 posted:  
lmao u wish i was 13 sicko! im 49 and a man

Major_Tom posted:  
So, you're just an idiot. No wonder you think this guy is cool. He's a complete loser and so are you, probably.

talktalktalk69 posted:  
o ya? well see whos cool n whos n idiot wen i doxx u idit

Major_Tom posted:  
Yeah, right. You can't even spell. How the hell are you going to doxx me?

talktalktalk69 posted:  
o will post ur ssn bitch

Major_Tom posted:  
Lol ok.

talktalktalk69 posted:  
[comment removed by moderator]  
[user talktalktalk69 has been permanently banned]

Billy flushed.

Venture_Industries2020: Did you really doxx him?  
talktalktalk69: hell yeah i doxxed him  
talktalktalk69: mr carl jerome burke of murfreesboro, tn  
talktalktalk69: he works @ steak n shake lol  
Venture_Industries2020: That's cool!  
Venture_Industrie2020: I mean, terrifying, but very cool.  
talktalktalk69: i only use my powers 4 good  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Still... you really didn't have to do that.  
talktalktalk69: i wanted 2 lmao  
talktalktalk69: major tom is a major pain  
talktalktalk69: hes always pickin on u  
Venture_Industries2020: Yeah, but now you're banned!  
talktalktalk69: ah its ok i just lurk anyway  
talktalktalk69: i think i just cant access the 18+ forums and tbh  
talktalktalk69: i dnw 2 see creepy fanart of rust getting fucked by his dad n shit  
talktalktalk69: so weird  
Venture_Industries2020: Gross, true... Fair enough.  
Venture_Industries2020: Thank you for coming to my rescue!  
Venture_Industries2020: My hero :)  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
talktalktalk69: ;^*  
Venture_Industries2020: :* to you too!  
Venture_Industries2020: Sounds like you're having a pretty crappy day.  
talktalktalk69: eh  
talktalktalk69: cud b worse  
talktalktalk69: took a big nap at work 2day and didnt get caught so  
talktalktalk69: theres that  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha nice.  
talktalktalk69: hbu  
talktalktalk69: wats up w/u  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh, you know, alright. The usual. My boss is a dick, my life is boring, etc etc  
Venture_Industries2020: It's weird, I live in this big city, but I'm so used to being a homebody...  
Venture_Industries2020: There was nothing to do in the last place I lived.  
Venture_Industries2020: I guess that I also have no one to really do it with either.  
talktalktalk69: my offer still stands if u wanted 2 go on that date ;^)  
talktalktalk69: do u like aquariums  
Venture_Industries2020: Um, they're kind of cool. I would really like to check out the Museum of Natural History sometime. It looks cool.  
talktalktalk69: ya i cud check it out  
talktalktalk69: i did rly like nite @ the museum  
talktalktalk69: the 2nd 1 is shit tho  
Venture_Industries2020: I was more interested in the exhibits that are actually there.  
talktalktalk69: wat  
talktalktalk69: u didnt like that movie  
talktalktalk69: its hilarious  
talktalktalk69: wat do u have against ben stiller pal  
Venture_Industries2020: Wow.  
Venture_Industries2020: You are very defensive about Ben Stiller.  
talktalktalk69: hes the man  
talktalktalk69: that bein said  
talktalktalk69: a museum date sound qt  
talktalktalk69: tbh im usually more of a club guy  
Venture_Industries2020: Ew, seriously?  
Venture_Industries2020: Clubs suck.

(Not that he’d ever really been to a lot of clubs outside of the depressing stripclub off the highway near the Venture compound. Oh, and that time he almost got killed because STUPID Rusty had brought them to that Guild club. Yeah. Clubs sucked.)

talktalktalk69: o rite  
talktalktalk69: 4got i was talking 2 a big nerd  
talktalktalk69: where else can u hear new music dance and do drugs  
talktalktalk69: hmmm?  
Venture_Industries2020: I don't really do drugs.  
talktalktalk69: r u a jehovash witness or smth  
Venture_Industries2020: No, I just don't do drugs. I don't think they're fun.  
talktalktalk69: not even a lil weed  
Venture_Industries2020: Um, once or twice. I don’t think it worked, though. I did cough a lot, though.  
Venture_Industries2020: Look, I don’t even like drinking that much because I always get wasted.  
talktalktalk69: well ok  
talktalktalk69: if any1 gives u drugs ill do em 4 u so u dont have 2  
Venture_Industries2020: That's very generous of you.  
Venture_Industries2020: Can I ask you a question?  
talktalktalk69: u already did  
Venture_Industries2020: Ha ha  
Venture_Industries2020: /Sarcasm  
Venture_Industries2020: Are you a drug addict?  
talktalktalk69: jeez a guy likes drugs  
talktalktalk69: suddently hes a drug addict  
Venture_Industries2020: I mean, they kind of go together, I imagine.  
talktalktalk69: im an occasional drug enthusiast  
talktalktalk69: y do u care  
Venture_Industries2020: Hope this isn’t crossing a line, but I don’t want you to die.  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: carin abt me is not crossin a line  
talktalktalk69: thnx  
Venture_Industries2020: :)  
talktalktalk69: i dont want u 2 die either  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha thanks.  
talktalktalk69: not til ur good n old  
Venture_Industries2020: Hahaha  
Venture_Industries2020: Thanks  
Venture_Industries2020: You’re sweet.  
talktalktalk69: ur sweet  
talktalktalk69: :^)  
talktalktalk69: i like u  
talktalktalk69: jsyk  
Venture_Industries2020: I’m technically a genius but I don’t think I’d have to be to figure that out. And I like you, too.  
talktalktalk69: a genius  
talktalktalk69: ooo  
talktalktalk69: sexy  
Venture_Industries2020: It’s not “sexy,” I don’t think.  
talktalktalk69: y not  
Venture_Industries2020: Um, no one has ever found it sexy before?  
talktalktalk69: gud thing im sum1 and not no1 lmao  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: :)  
Venture_Industries2020: Thanks  
talktalktalk69: thnx 4 bein sexy  
Venture_Industries2020: You don’t know that!  
talktalktalk69: i get the vibe  
talktalktalk69: ur vibe is sexy  
Venture_Industries2020: Haha thanks  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
talktalktalk69: do u think im sexy  
Venture_Industries2020: Calm down Rod Stewart  
Venture_Industries2020: I also have no idea if you’re sexy  
Venture_Industries2020: Just like you have no idea if I’m sexy  
talktalktalk69: listen  
talktalktalk69: i have smth 2 admit 2 u  
talktalktalk69: im incredibly sexy  
Venture_Industries2020: HAHAHA  
Venture_Industries2020: Good to know  
talktalktalk69: u better believe it pal  
talktalktalk69: u shud see my legs  
talktalktalk69: they go on 4 days  
Venture_Industries2020: Wow!  
talktalktalk69: u like legs  
talktalktalk69: cuz guess what  
talktalktalk69: ive got 2 of them  
Venture_Industries: Incredible!  
talktalktalk69: i kno  
talktalktalk69: i bet theyd look nice  
talktalktalk69: wrapped arund ur waist  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Alright alright you’re sexy!

Billy realized that in addition to smiling and blushing, there was something about the extremely casual and filthy way this guy was talking about fucking him was making him harden up. Should he tell him? He should tell him. He imagined talktalktalk69 would probably LOVE to hear that.

Venture_Industries2020: You’re kind of turning me on honestly.  
talktalktalk69: thats the plan pal  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
talktalktalk69: ur so qt  
Venture_Industries2020: Are you...

Dare he? Should he? He was going to do it. It was way too late. Why hesitate?

Venture_Industries2020: Horny?  
talktalktalk69: oh ya im super horny  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh  
talktalktalk69: ya  
Venture_Industries2020: Is there anything I can do to help...?  
talktalktalk69: ya  
talktalktalk69: if u want 2  
Venture_Industries2020: What do I do?  
talktalktalk69: u just sorta talk ur way thru the process  
talktalktalk69: like sayin wat u wud do  
talktalktalk69: how u feel doin it  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Do I start??  
talktalktalk69: i can start if u want give me a sec

Billy swallowed hard. He felt nervous for some stupid reason. It wasn’t like they were actually going to have sex. They were just going to talk about having sex. That was almost worse than having sex. At least having sex meant he didn’t actually have to think about it or really care what happened during it. Maybe that would be different if it were someone he really cared about or liked?

talktalktalk69: ok back  
Venture_Industries2020: Where did you go?  
talktalktalk69: ;^) had to get ready  
talktalktalk69: idont want my roommate walking in on me  
talktalktalk69: so  
talktalktalk69: movin rite along  
Venture_Industries2020: Okay  
talktalktalk69: u ready  
Venture_Industries2020: Yeah  
talktalktalk69: ok  
talktalktalk69: stop me if i go 2 far  
talktalktalk69: so  
talktalktalk69: here we are...  
Venture_Industries2020: Yes  
Venture_Industries2020: Here we are...  
talktalktalk69: i want you  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh!  
Venture_Industries2020: Um... can I kiss you?  
talktalktalk69: u better  
Venture_Industries2020: How do I say I'm doing an action? Do I say "I'm kissing you"?  
talktalktalk69: u can do that  
talktalktalk69: i usually do it like this:  
talktalktalk69: *grabs ur ass*  
Venture_Industries2020: Hey!  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: tutorial mode is over pal  
Venture_Industries2020: Um, ok... I start kissing you.  
Venture_Industries2020: With tongue*  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: thnx for specifying  
talktalktalk69: *kisses u back*  
talktalktalk69: *also w/tongue bc apparently that needs 2 b said*  
Venture_Industries2020: Look, I've never done this before!  
talktalktalk69: i can tell  
talktalktalk69: bc u put down u kissed me  
talktalktalk69: wich i appreciate  
talktalktalk69: but like no1 does that  
Venture_Industries2020: Do you not want me to say stuff like that?  
Venture_Industries2020: Because honestly I do want to kiss you and I would definitely kiss you if we were going to have sex.  
talktalktalk69: u r sweet  
talktalktalk69: <3  
talktalktalk69: u can do w/e u want  
talktalktalk69: as long as u keep bein sweet ;^)  
talktalktalk69: *kisses u again*  
talktalktalk69: *puts a hand on ur chest*

Billy went to place a hand on his chest to simulate and stopped short. Curse his anal-retentive attention to detail.

Venture_Industries2020: Which hand?  
talktalktalk69: um wat  
Venture_Industries2020: Left or right?  
talktalktalk69: the fuck does that matter  
Venture_Industries2020: I'm trying to imagine this correctly. What it would look like, etc.  
talktalktalk69: u dont even know what i look like tho  
Venture_Industries2020: That’s not the point!  
Venture_Industries2020: But fine, keep going, who cares  
talktalktalk69: k  
talktalktalk69: *slowly traces my hand down ur chest n stomach*  
Venture_Industries2020: Very nice.  
talktalktalk69: just u wait ;^)  
talktalktalk69: *puts hand on ur crotch*  
Venture_Industries2020: :o  
talktalktalk69: do u like that  
Venture_Industries2020: Yeah  
talktalktalk69: yeah i bet u do  
talktalktalk69: *nobbles on ur ear*  
talktalktalk69: nibbles* sry  
Venture_Industries2020: I um... grab your nipple?  
talktalktalk69: lmao ok  
talktalktalk69: thru my shirt or like  
talktalktalk69: under it  
talktalktalk69: ?  
Venture_Industries2020: Through it I guess?  
Venture_Industries2020: Is that sexy?  
talktalktalk69: ya  
talktalktalk69: cud b sexier but good try  
Venture_Industries2020: Uh... thanks.  
talktalktalk69: *whisperin* u want me to suck ur cock?

Billy was hard at this point but was trying to hold out. How long was this supposed to last? How long was he supposed to last? He supposed he could keep typing after he came. Plus, he had deferred his gratification long enough. Yeah. This was the point, right? Masturbating? Might as well start...

Venture_Industries2020: Yes please!  
talktalktalk69: lmo u r so cute  
talktalktalk69: ok  
talktalktalk69: *unbuckles ur belt*  
talktalktalk69: *puts my hand in ur underwear*  
Venture_Industries2020: Seriously WHICH HAND?  
talktalktalk69: this again  
talktalktalk69: wtf is ur deal  
Venture_Industries2020: I’m trying to figure out which hand to jack off with.  
talktalktalk69: ew ur jackin off

Billy stopped stroking his cock, nervous. Oh, god. Had he completely misread this? Had he offended talktalktalk69?

Venture_Industries2020: I’m  
Venture_Industries2020: Am I not supposed to be jacking off!?  
Venture_Industries2020: You’re not jacking off?  
Venture_Industries2020: What’s the point of this if not jacking off?  
talktalktalk69: omg lmao calm down pal i was messin w/u  
talktalktalk69: ofc im jackin off  
talktalktalk69: its my left hand lets say  
Venture_Industries2020: Thank you.  
talktalktalk69: r u jackin off now  
Venture_Industries2020: Yes.  
talktalktalk69: hot ;^)  
talktalktalk69: *pulls ur cock out of ur underwear if u r wearing underwear*  
talktalktalk69: *if ur comando ignore this part*  
Venture_Industries2020: I’m wearing underwear  
talktalktalk69: wat do they look like  
Venture_Industries2020: Uh, white briefs?  
talktalktalk69: omg  
talktalktalk69: tighty whities  
talktalktalk69: i so knew it  
Venture_Industries2020: Are you gonna suck my dick or what?  
talktalktalk69: so demanding  
talktalktalk69: *gets on my knees in front of u while strokin u*  
Venture_Industries2020: Do you like when I’m demanding?  
talktalktalk69: lmao mb  
talktalktalk69: i kinda like domineering guys  
talktalktalk69: neway  
talktalktalk69: *licks ur cock*  
Venture_Industries2020: Nice.  
talktalktalk69: *puts ur cock in my mouth n sucks*  
Venture_Industries2020: I put a hand on you head  
Venture_Industries2020: And moan I guess?  
talktalktalk69: ud be moanin alrite  
talktalktalk69: im great at suckin dick  
Venture_Industries2020: God  
Venture_Industries2020: I wish you really were sucking my dick  
talktalktalk69: i wish i was suckin ur dick rn irl 2  
Venture_Industries2020: Honestly though  
Venture_Industries2020: I want to fuck you more  
talktalktalk69: >:^)  
talktalktalk69: go for it big boy  
talktalktalk69: fuck me  
Venture_Industries2020: You want that?  
talktalktalk69: ya fuck me!!!!!!!!!  
Venture_Industries2020: You’re such a slut!  
talktalktalk69: hey dont b rude  
talktalktalk69: just bc its tru doesnt mean u have 2 say it  
Venture_Industries2020: I thought you said you liked domineering guys!  
talktalktalk69: u watch 2 much porn pal  
Venture_Industries2020: What should I do then?  
talktalktalk69: well  
talktalktalk69: *lays down on the bed*  
talktalktalk69: *seductively*  
Venture_Industries2020: There’s a bed?  
talktalktalk69: ya  
talktalktalk69: anything is possible  
talktalktalk69: in ur ~imagingation~  
talktalktalk69: lmao  
talktalktalk69: now fuck me ;^)  
Venture_Industries69: Okay  
Venture_Industries69: I climb up on the bed with you  
talktalktalk69: hello ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Hi  
Venture_Industries2020: I um  
Venture_Industries2020: I take off your shirt?  
talktalktalk69: jsyk im wearing a jacket 2  
Venture_Industries2020: Ok, I take off your jacket  
Venture_Industries2020: First  
Venture_Industries2020: Before I took off your shirt  
talktalktalk69: k i get it  
Venture_Industries2020: And then I grab your nipple for real haha  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
Venture_Industries2020: Um and then I kiss you some more  
talktalktalk69: w/tongue?  
talktalktalk69: lmao sry  
Venture_Industries2020: >:(  
Venture_Industries2020: I aggressively kiss your neck  
Venture_Industries2020: No wait, I give you a hickey because you keep making fun of me!  
talktalktalk69: mmm 2 bad 4 u i like it  
Venture_Industries2020: I take your pants off?  
talktalktalk69: wats w/the ?s all the time  
talktalktalk69: either u did it or u didnt do it lmao  
Venture_Industries2020: Sorry! I’ve never typed out having sex before.  
talktalktalk69: have u  
talktalktalk69: had sex b4  
talktalktalk69: jw  
Venture_Industries2020: What’s that supposed to mean?  
talktalktalk69: its a y/n question  
Venture_Industries2020: Yes I have had sex  
Venture_Industries2020: Just not with a man  
talktalktalk69: uh do u want me 2 take the lead again  
Venture_Industries2020: Yes, fine  
talktalktalk69: get on ur back  
Venture_Industries2020: Fine, I’m on my back, are you happy?  
talktalktalk69: i will b once i get that dick in me  
talktalktalk69: ;^)  
talktalktalk69: my pants are off rite  
Venture_Industries2020: Your pants are off  
talktalktalk69: lets pretend my boxers are off 2  
Venture_Industries2020: Eager!  
talktalktalk69: im horny and u kno that  
Venture_Industries2020: Well, get on top of me then  
talktalktalk69: *gets on top of u*  
talktalktalk69: *doesnt do any prep bc we are typin this out 2 each other n i dont need to*  
Venture_Industries2020: Jeez you are super eager  
talktalktalk69: *also im lazy*  
talktalktalk69: ya i am eager  
talktalktalk69: *lowers self down on ur dick*  
talktalktalk69: mmm

Billy tightened his grip on his cock, stroking hard. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine this faceless man who was pretend getting fucked by him.

Venture_Industries2020: Wow, it feels incredible.

Was that stupid to say? Shit, he had no idea. Who knew?

talktalktalk69: ;^)  
talktalktalk69: *starts to move up and down*  
Venture_Industries2020: Oh man  
talktalktalk69: does that feel good

Why was it so hard to type with one hand?

Venture_Industries2020: it does  
talktalktalk69: are u jacking off to me riding ur dick  
Venture_Industries2020: ye,s  
Venture_Industries2020: SHould i be doing anything  
Venture_Industries2020: else  
talktalktalk69: idk  
talktalktalk69: spank me or smth  
talktalktalk69: im getting pretty close

Good lord, this guy was incredible. Spank him? He’d spank him, alright. Yeah. Nice. Sounded... sexy. Sure.

Venture_Industries2020: Okay ij i spank you  
talktalktalk69: which hand  
talktalktalk69: lmao cuz im trying to imagine it  
Venture_Industries2020: Probably my right? Depends

It took a moment for talktalktalk69 to respond. 

talktalktalk69: y probably  
talktalktalk69: depends on wat  
Venture_Industries2020: My left hand is robotic  
Venture_Industries2020: I feel like maybe you’d be into that though since you’re kind of a freak hehehe  
talktalktalk69: wait

Ten seconds. Okay. Twenty? Billy slowed his hand. Thirty...? What was going on...? He stopped touching himself completely. What had happened? Was this guy afraid of robots? Maybe he had fucked up somehow? Probably that was it. He’d play it cool, of course. 

Venture_Industries2020: ? Are you still there? I’m really close, come on  
talktalktalk69: billy?

Oh god, who? Who!?

Venture_Industries2020: Um  
Venture_Industries2020: No?

talktalktalk69 has signed off. 

There was a knock at his door. Billy didn’t have a chance to respond or do much more than quickly tuck his dick back into his pants before the door opened and White, face solemn, appeared in the threshold. He gave Billy a pointed look. Billy wordlessly shook his head. White slowly nodded.

“Billy,” he said, knowingly.

“No,” Billy instinctively said. He felt himself getting slightly sick.

“Billy...” White repeated, “...yes.”

They stared at each other for what felt like forever. 

“‘A little short’, my ass,” White said, his hands on his hips. “‘My mom lives with me.’ Yeah. Okay.”

“Well... you didn’t tell me that you were an albino!” Billy interjected. Something clicked in his head. “Wait-- Wait-- am I... I’m the roommate?”

“No, I was talking about Robo-Bo. Yeah, no, of course you’re the roommate!” White rolled his eyes. “Some genius! Christ.”

“When did I ever kiss you?!?” Billy practically shouted. 

White crossed his arms. “You really don’t remember? It was after that stupid eclipse party.”

“Oh, yeah, I don’t remember anything about that night.”

“Yeah, you were pretty fucked up,” White smiled. “It was adorable.”

Billy scoffed, “Well, it’s better than if I remembered and regretted it, right? You should have told me!” 

“What? You would have been horrified!”

“No, I wouldn’t have, because I like you, you idiot!” Billy shouted.

White stopped short and looked genuinely amazed. He pointed at himself. “You... like me?”

“You know how I said I was attracted to a guy and that’s pretty much how I figured out how I wasn’t straight in our chat? That’s-- you’re the guy!” 

“I’m the guy?” White sounded astounded. 

“Yes! You’re the guy!” 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Billy?”

Billy looked at his hands. “Because you’re incapable of taking anything seriously! I thought you’d laugh at me! And why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s weird!”

“Why is it weird? Because-- what-- I’m not up to your ‘standards’ or something?”

“No! Because-- because I ruined your life! And I know you think I’m a leech-- I know you don’t think I care! I do care, Billy, I do-- I care about you-- I--” He stopped and looked away. After a pause, he said, completely seriously. “I--I think I’m in love with you, Billy.”

Billy stared at White. He was in love with him? When he thought about it, he himself was kind of in love with White. He found himself smiling, then laughing. 

“What?” White looked incredibly hurt. “What? It’s so funny to you that I’m in love you? Of course it is. Who’s the one who can’t take anything seriously, again? You’re such a dick, Billy.”

“No-- no--” Billy choked out. “It’s this-- it’s the situation, White! Look at us both! We went out of our way to get over each other because we’re both idiots in love with each other and still-- we still-- we still ended up meeting! We still ended up together, we-- we ended up liking each other. You know, no one has ever talked to me on that forum in a positive way-- no one ever defended me before! It’s like you’re the only person I’m allowed to be with. And I’m... I’m pretty okay with that.”

White smiled his little smile and said in a little voice, “You love me, too?”

“I... I think so?” Billy smiled at him. “Can you-- can I kiss you? Again, I guess?”

White’s smile broadened. “I thought you’d never ask.” He approached Billy, somewhat hesitantly, and pulled the computer chair to face him. Both hands on the chair’s arms, he leaned forward, inches away from Billy’s face. “What are you waiting for, pally?”

Billy was less hesitant. The surprised noise White made as Billy grabbed him by the cheeks and shoved their faces together, kissing him full on the open mouth made Billy laugh and pull him closer, arms draping around his shoulders and kissing him deeper. White kissed back, enthusiastic, his breathing, heavy. He moved his hands up Billy’s sides, cupped his cheek in his hand. It felt like it lasted forever before they broke apart. 

“That...” White sighed, “was a much better kiss than the first one.”

“Maybe we should try some of that, um, other stuff we, uh, talked about?” Billy asked.

White smiled, eyebrows raised. “Oh, totally.”


End file.
